Relationship Reflection

     All of the articles and resources this week emphasized how vital healthy relationships are, to a person’s overall development, and future success. Relationships are important, because in one way or another, they leave lasting effects. Some relationships withdraw from our lives, and can set us back for many years, while others can make very positive deposits.

The people that have been constant, and have added to my life, are my children, mother, and best friend Sheila. Because children conduct their lives, based on what they have watched their parents do, my children inspire me, to live a God fearing life, and work hard, to achieve personal goals and accomplishments.

My son Robert (age 19), has lots of wisdom for his age, and has encouraged me on many occasions. Although he no longer lives in my home, it is not rare for him to call and ask if I want to watch a movie or go to dinner. He does not always tell me everything going on in his life, right away; but will eventually seek my advice; especially, when he has big decisions to make. He is reliable, successful, and is a wonderful role model for his little brother.

 

My son Isreal (age 5), is full of joy and energy most of the time. Although he has experienced major medical challenges, he continues to be the life of the party. The doctors in the NICU were amazed at his positive disposition, in the mist of adversity! There were times, during his eight month hospital stay, we did not think he would survive, but thank God he did.

 

My mom has grown to be my friend, counselor and encourager. My mother is not going to throw her opinions off on you, but she has the reputation of being quite candid! I can talk to my mother about anything; my siblings feel that I tell her too much. As a little girl I stuck to my mother like glue. Her unconditional love and acceptance has been one of the catalysts to push me, when I wanted to give up. Sometimes, I have this uncomfortable thought about my mother’s future death, and I think” who would I ever be able to share, all of my thoughts with, like I do with my mom”.  As a family, we love to cook meals together, and talk about everything from relationships, to work related issues. We value the opinions and feelings of one another, and I believe appreciation for those in our lives, maintain and keep the relationships.

 

My friend Sheila has been in my life for the past twenty four years! I met her on my first real job. She is twelve years older than me, and has been like a big sister. We both love going to the movies, which is how our friendship began to blossom. We have supported one another, through bad marriages, weddings, pregnancies, miscarriages, children and divorces. She and I often talk about, how much we can count on one another. If she calls in the middle of the night with a problem, I am there. If I call her, she is there. We do not get to see one another often, but when we do, we pick up where we left off.

From my experiences, I have found communication issues, to be the main hindrance to the success or the repair of a relationship. When people refuse to express their feelings to one another, and expect the other person to read their mind, problems can arise. Some people express themselves by yelling, screaming and ignoring; which can cause major conflict. I also believe selfishness and pride can destroy a good relationship. People must be willing to admit when they are wrong, and figure out a way to rectify the problem.  

Research has shown the effects family interactions have on people throughout their entire lives. If a child is raised in a family where there is contention, anger and confusion, they will probably take those same characteristics into their relationships. I do believe we can learn how to live a harmonious life with others, even if our early experiences have not been positive. It will take lots of work, but it can be done.

My prior relationships have played a role in my ability, to build positive relationships with others, in my field of study. As an early childhood educator, I make it a priority to engage my families in conversations, and I allow myself to be open to their concerns and ideas. Because I have been an imperfect mother myself, I can easily offer the parents of the children in my class, empathy. I do not get bent out of shape, when the children forget their homework folder. I know how mornings in a households, with small children can be. Had I not had prior experiences as a mother myself, I may not be as empathetic, and would probably be very judgmental. In order for any relationship to grow, develop and remain constant; work has to be in operation (give and take). The same would be true in a professional setting, and when working with families in our schools.